City of Arabel

[Silverstar]

I almost told him, but the expression on his face ... he still hates me. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to make it better. Telling him might help, but then again, it might make things worse. He's never going to understand my reasons for doing things, because they're not his reasons, and only his reasons matter. Our priorities are so different, and only his priorities matter. I don't think he even wants to try to patch things up. I thought, when we spoke before, that he truly wanted to try to work things out. He said ... at least ... I think he said, that he loved me more than his own life, and he seemed to have realised that I truly made a mistake. but today ... he was right back to being angry again.

I'm so scared of doing what I'm going to have to do. I'm scared of telling him and having to watch his face. And I'm terrified of the fact that I'm going to have to do this on my own.
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

He knows. He went pale when I told him, but he didn't say much. We talked a little about who knew, and why I didn't tell him before, but then an elven woman interrupted us. Evanna, he called her. And it turns out that they were having some kind of relationship. Of all the times ... I'm just hopeless at all this. He said it was a mistake, though. That he'd planned to rectify it before our talk. He said he'd talk to me later, so I suppose I just have to wait and see.

That's the easy part. I never thought I'd say that, but there's things much more worrying on my mind at the moment. The prophecy has come back into play, and it's far worse than I suspected. How can I leave and go to Suzail now? It's too late. I'm needed here, because if this goes wrong, there might not be a realm left. We're trying to get the essence, but the news we received yesterday is dire. How do we choose? If we hand over the prizes, we may receive that which we love back, but then what? We lose everything for one person. But that person is so dear to all of us. I know what Melanie will want to do. I know what I want to do. But is it the right thing? Melanie won't have me talk about it to anyone - not Sydney, not Mathard, not anyone. But that leaves me and her to make the choice. And I don't know that I trust the two of us to make the right one.

Thaegen knows, despite Melanie's wish that he didn't. Perhaps his wisdom will help to guide us along the right path. I hope so.

We have to move quickly. The 'gift' I was left yesterday was bad enough. The one I was promised if we delay would be devastating.
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

I’m so tired. Sleeping is becoming harder and harder, and with things the way they are, I’m just exhausted. I don’t much like being alone. The Circle found me when I was at my most vulnerable, and I’m afraid of being anywhere by myself in case they come back with more ‘gifts’. Even my little room at the Dragon is too isolated. I go in there to sleep, but after a short while, I always end up back in the common room, curled up on the couch, and dozing, listening to the chatter of people around me, keeping me safe.

My dreams are more like nightmares. Full of horrors. Severed fingers, severed heads. Black wings and scales gleaming. Flames and blood and screams. When I do sleep, I often wake with a start, cutting off the wail that tries to escape my lips. I'm so scared for the Baroness, for Melanie, for all of us. Every one.

I concentrate on the one thing that brings me some comfort. A pair of sparkling green eyes that hover on the edge of my consciousness. I know who they belong to. Tymora, let me get through all of this to see those eyes in reality, and not just in my dreams.
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

We’re coming to the end of everything.

Othokentvivex is dead, and the essence retrieved. I was there, I played my part, although it was minor compared to some. War Wizard Turner and Wynn were both killed, and although we scraped together the gold to bring Wynn back, Darmos couldn’t find the War Wizard’s soul. He gave his life, battling in dragon form against the great black wyrm, and we’ll never forget him.

We know the truth now, about the prophecy, about what it means, about what sacrifices we have to make. And in sacrificing what we must to see that this realm still stands, I shall lose all that I love, and all that makes my life worth living. I would stand with them, and make the same sacrifice, but I can’t. And when I watch it happen, the largest piece of my heart will go with them.

Why did it take something like this to make things become clear? Why does only tragedy shine a light on what really matters and what needs to be done? And why does true happiness come just a few short days before it all must end?
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

Edana crosses out the surname on the title page of her journal, and firmly writes 'SeLangstra' in its place
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

I’d give anything for time to stop, and these few perfect days to last forever.

I married the love of my life, quietly under the stars and Selune’s gaze, on the banks of the pond where he kissed me for the first time such a long time ago, with no one in attendance but the priest, and the gods. I’ve waited such a long time to be able to call myself his wife, and now that it’s happened, it’s almost unreal. And to know that in just a few short days, I shall be his widow … no, I shan’t. He will be out there somewhere, and I shall always be his wife. Every moment we spend together is precious, and I’m trying to push the knowledge of what is to come from my mind, and just concentrate on the here and now. He promises me that if he can fulfil his duty, and return to me, he will, and I have to just hold onto the hope that it will be possible.

Mathard is so angry. I wish I hadn’t hurt him so much. I don’t know how to explain to him that, somewhere deep inside me, I think I always knew that Wynn and I would be together one day. In another world, in another life, if things had been different, perhaps Mathard and I could have been together, but time and circumstances just didn’t lead us down that path. I love him, and I’ll always love him, and seeing how hurt he is, is painful. He’s lashing out at me because he’s hurt, and I don’t know if it’s simply that, or if he truly believes what he says. I don’t believe what he says. I know how things are, and why they are like that, and I understand why he feels differently, but I don’t agree with him. I just wish I hadn’t hurt him.

I guess a lot of people now know of our marriage. Wynn announced it to the city. But I haven’t told some of the people closest to me yet, and I need to. Especially those that I will be losing, when I lose my husband.

My husband. It’s still hard to believe. My husband.
_________________
Edana SeLangstra, ex-Breskie and mother of triplets. Lives in Silverymoon
Azria Saal, freed Thayan Knight
Miranda Isilme, priestess of Selune

[Silverstar]

I was so sure that once that gate closed, all the hopes I ever had would go out of the world. But I find I still have hopes, and dreams, and beliefs. I believe that Sune heard Wynn’s wish that there would be more than one life growing inside me, and gave us the triplets for his loyal service to her. I hope that they have Wynn’s green eyes, and his smile, so that whenever I look at them, I see him looking back at me. I hope that he and Mathard and Tildy are watching us, and that we can make them proud. And I know that on the day I leave this world for good, I will awake in Brightwater, cradled in Wynn’s arms.

I am leaving Arabel in a few days, with my brother, and my friends. This city is my home, has become my home in the few short years that I’ve lived here. But it holds too many memories, good and bad, for me to stay here to bring up my children. How can I walk amongst people going about their daily business, laughing and arguing and not thinking of the sacrifices made for them, made so that they can continue to laugh and joke and go about their daily business? I plan to go to Silverymoon, and try to start a new life there, and I hope that I reach there before my children are born. I always heard that Silverymoon was the most beautiful city in Faerun, and being somewhere so beautiful will make me feel closer to Wynn. I know that Shanora loved Wynn too, and will miss him almost as much as I will, but I hope that his children will help to heal her hurt, the way I hope they will start to heal mine.

One day I’ll return. I’ll bring my children back here, and show them everything. The memorial stone on the island, put there by the gods in recognition of the bravery of their father and my family. The pond where we married, where we first kissed, where so much of our lives were played out. The springs and the farms where we went to talk and laugh. I’ll show them where the Bresk Estate stood, which was my home, and would have been our home, if Wynn had lived. We’ll stay in my little room at the Dragon, where Wynn and I slept in each others arms so many nights. And I’ll tell them of everyone. Of Mathard, who loved me, and who I loved, who was the most loyal friend I could have had, and who I would never have got through the pain without. Of Matilda, how beautiful she was, how wonderful her songs were, and how she could always make me laugh, no matter how bad I was feeling. Of Melanie, her passion and determination to see things through, no matter what the cost. Of the Bar- crossed out Natassia, who was everything a noble should be. Of Sydney, and how strong she was in battle. Of Celdor and Thaegen, and their determination to stand with my family. I’ll tell them what I know of Amathaera and Master Lambrae, who I wish I had met. Of Zenobia, who I could not have married, but who I loved, and who would have done anything for me. I’ll tell them of Anna, and Val, of Bromsay and Tyro, and all the friends I haven’t seen in so long. Of Valiand, Nami, and Talwyn. Of the Dawnstar, who I commanded for so short a time. And all my other friends. All our friends. I’ll even try to tell them of Rith, Rith the way their daddy saw her.

But mostly I’ll tell them of him, of their daddy, the most handsome man I ever knew. The man I could never stop loving. The man who lodged in my heart from the moment I saw him, and never left it. I’ll tell them of his kindness, his gentleness, and his bravery, of his loyalty, and his passion, and the way he would always fulfil his duty, no matter how hard that might be. I’ll tell them of the day he and I helped to slay the great black dragon. Of how brave he was the day he went to the Banite temple, and stood up for his beliefs, even knowing what that would cost him. Of what happened in Skullport, and how he never gave in, when a lesser man would have done. Of how he died, the way he would have wanted, protecting me, and them, and this city. And I’ll tell them of the quiet days, when we would just walk and talk together, sit and laugh, and love each other. I’ll tell them how much he loved them, and how much it hurt him to know he would never hold them, but that he did what he did so that they could live. They will be as proud to be his children, as I am to be his wife.